Dating is one of the most exciting and helpful experiences leading to an overall mature mindset. The dating universe is always undergoing exciting changes. The dating scenario a decade ago was different from how relationships unfold in the modern era. From arranged blind dates to meeting someone in the bar and online dating, building new relationships have come a long way.
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Typically, it always starts with meeting a person; getting to know them, which of course, you can’t on the first date; and then based on your conversation on the first date, you decide whether there is going to be a second. If all goes well, it’s romantic a, and both the parties are happy. Sometimes, a pleasant first date can not only lead to a second date but can also result in a potential happily ever after!
However, not all dates end up like a fairy tale. For the unsuccessful ones, the time till the bill arrives seems like a punishment. Sitting even in the fanciest of the restaurants with a person whom you have zero compatibility with is a burden. To avoid this hell inflicting upon humanity, the concept of speed dating is taking form.
If you are used to conventional dating methods, you might not be familiar with the term speed dating. Speed dating is an ancient Jewish tradition that has now become a phenomenon widespread at the international level. It allows you to instantly meet people and check whether the spark, attraction or bonding is there.
All you do is have a conversation lasting a few minutes per person. If you feel there is a connection and the other person feels the same way, you are in for a second date. If not, you can walk away without any feelings of embarrassment, guilt, or self-loathing. Seems hassle-free and straightforward, doesn’t it?
If the concept is new to you, you might find yourself wondering how it works. If you are interested in giving it a try, it is vital to have a basic understanding of the process. Speed dating events are mostly held in bars or restaurants. You will be given a name tag and a sheet of paper. Once you have a conversation with each participant for a few minutes, you can tick yes or no in front of each name. This will indicate whether you are willing to see them again.
Once you have marked your answers, you hand it over to the organizers. If instances of mutual interest are there, the organizers will notify you via e-mail with the contact information of your potential date.
Speed dating is one of the quickest and the most hassle-free methods of searching for the one. It might seem a little too far in the beginning. But once you get a hold of it, the whole idea seems pragmatic. Here are some reasons why you should give speed dating a try.
Okay, so you interacted with a bunch of people. Somehow, you don’t feel the connection with anyone in the entire group. In the usual dating process, people who are bad at saying no go along with the other person out of sheer awkwardness. Moreover, the person who is not used to taking no for an answer can act up. But in case of speed dating, there is no pressure on either party. If you don’t feel the connection, simply walk away. No Pressure at all!
Speed dating is a great way to save some time and money. Is taking a stranger out to a fancy restaurant simply worth it if you don’t have any intention of seeing them ever again? For a set price, you will be able to meet and interact with an entire group of singles. Do you honestly believe you would be able to go out on a date with so many people at this price? I bet it sounds reasonable! You’ve got to save money for the future!
‘I had an utterly horrible date!’ These are the words that every adult utters at least a few times in their life. But with speed dating, you don’t feel the need for excusing yourself if you encounter an unbearable situation. We’ve all heard love birds saying that they feel that time has stopped when they look into the eyes of their loved one. Do you know who else experiences a similar situation? The one who is having an unbearable date and can’t seem to pass the time. Yes, the clock stops when you are stuck with someone you don’t feel connected to. But with speed dating, you don’t have to wait for the waiter to bring the bill, thanks to the brief duration!
People usually find the concept of speed dating bizarre. How can you know a person in a few minutes? Well, you can’t. In fact, speed dating isn’t a foolproof guide to being Romeo and Juliet. It provides you with an opportunity to feel the air and feel the sparks. If you are not attracted to a person within a few minutes or you don’t develop an instant connection, chances are, it won’t last.
Keep a positive attitude when you go on your first speed date. Come prepared with a few questions that act as determiners to you on the first date. It will help you rule out people you don’t feel compatible with.
If you are someone who struggles with handling direct rejection, speed dating can work in your favor. Think about it. You don’t get to hear a blunt ‘No’ from the other end. You don’t have to wait for the other person to call you for gaining a sense of approval for yourself. We know it really sucks when we have been waiting for the other person to call and the phone just never rings! You get a fresh start devoid of any preconceived notions.
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If the dating scene in your town has you and your single friends longing for the days of arranged marriages, or if you're happily attached and ready to take your matchmaking urges to the next level, it may be time to consider hosting a speed dating event.
Speed dating has been around since 1999, when Rabbi Yaacov Deyo and several of his single students put a new twist on the longstanding Jewish tradition of introducing young Jewish singles to one another at chaperoned gatherings. At a speed dating event, participants are paired up in a series of quick five- to seven-minute 'dates.' When the time is up, a bell or timer is rung, and participants move on to their next one-on-one conversation.
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While seven minutes may not seem long enough to determine whether a new acquaintance is a potential match, Rabbi Deyo and other speed dating organizers have found that it gives participants plenty of time to gauge their level of interest or get a feeling that the other person is just not the right fit. As an added bonus, the round-robin setup enables participants to meet more potential matches in one evening than they might otherwise encounter in a month or more of traditional dating.
Speed dating services can be found in just about any major city, but there's no need to wait for the next scheduled meet-up in your area. Our tips for hosting a speed dating event will help you organize a gathering that's fun, relaxing and fruitful for participants while preserving your sanity at the same time.
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As promised, we have plenty of suggested speed dating questions on the next page to help you get things started.
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As with any first date, the object of a speed date is to determine if the person sitting across from you is someone you'd like to know better. The difference is that you have just seven minutes to make that decision (and to make a good impression on your date), so start with the questions that matter most to you. We've included a few basics here, but you and the guests at your event might be better advised to skip the small talk and go right to the important stuff, like 'What's your favorite breakfast cereal to eat for dinner?'
Of course, the most insightful questions will often be the ones your guests come up with on their own, so encourage them to be creative and ask questions that will help them get to the root of what's most important to them.
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For more ideas about hosting a speed dating event, check out the resources on the next page.
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